A Missionary's Heart - Where is Mary?
Writer Author Carrie, Missionary in Eastern Europe
- Fiction No
Mary of Bethany is my favorite Bible character, though I tend to be more like Martha.
In my daily life, I easily get wrapped up in my “to do list”. When I awaken, I go right to task. The first priority of the morning is the woodstoves. I clear out the old ashes and start anew.
From there, I head to the kitchen to fix a hearty breakfast for my five little ones. Oatmeal doesn’t take long to fix, so I have only a few minutes to myself to dress and make the bed.
After breakfast, while the children get ready for homeschool, I have about thirty minutes to myself. I could spend that time at the feet of Jesus, but instead I choose to check my email.
Once school starts, half the day is gone before I know it. After school I serve lunch. When the lunch clean-up is complete, it’s time for music practice.
By the time all is completed, we are well into the afternoon. There is an hour or two of “play time”. I could spend that time in Bible study and prayer. Instead I spend that time reading things online and catching up on the daily news. Sometimes I write during that time.
Before I know it, my time is gone and it’s time to fix supper. After supper, time flies. We clean up, get ready for bed, and have family time.
When we put the kids to bed, I could steal away and meditate on scripture. Instead I spend that time with my husband or reading a Grisham novel. Then as I nod off to sleep, I wonder why I feel so disconnected from the Lord. I wonder why I feel so alone. I whisper a prayer, asking my Father to help me.
Listening to the Bible on CD while I cook is always nice. Listening to a preaching CD while kneading the bread or watching a preaching DVD while crocheting; both are wonderful. Still, it leaves a lot lacking. It leaves me craving more of Christ in my own life; more praying, more listening, more worship.
What happened to the days where I could muse on scripture? What happened to those church services where all I could do was cry and tell God how good He is? Where has my zeal gone? Though being Martha is needful, being Mary is more important.
“Jesus, please hear my heart. Let me be Mary again.”
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