A Backsliders Prayer

Writer Author  Jerry Lee Kay Sr.
Christian Poetry : Prayer  - Fiction  No

Christian Author Writer I wrote this poem after spending many agonizing days praying and counseling with a person that had hit bottom after walking away from God, and getting hooked on drugs and alcohol.

Three days after praying this prayer with me, she was saved and delivered of her habits and set free, I Baptized her in a stock pond in far west Texas one Sunday evening and she was filled with the Holy Spirit all at the same time.

That was in 2002, now here we are in 2009 and she is walking in the Spirit, married to a wonderful Cherokee Holy Man, full of the Spirit of God and two fantastic kids, both named after Poppa, one is Lee the other is Kay.

Never Give Up, In Jesus Name, Never Give Up !!!!

A Backsliders Prayer

Darkness prevails within this hurting soul of mine,
A darkness that will take maybe even years to erase in time.

A darkness filled with anger and so much pain,
A darkness that always remains the same.

I cry out for help and find no one that understands,
I reach out but come back with empty hands.

I try so hard to explain,but find that I cannot,
For the darkness has enveloped me
And where light is only a hope, a mere disappearing dot.

To talk is so hard,I find myself shivering in fear,
I find that I have lost the love that you gave when you where near.

Why I ever let this happen I cannot say,
All I know is how I feel this day.

You must understand that love and light are not of my world,

I shiver in fear when kindness is given to me,
For I do not know how to be what I need to be.

I know that I can love with no limits or hesitations,
I know that I can be forgiving with no expectations.

These things I know without a doubt or fear.
These things I want you to know and hear.

But even so I battle with my self inside,
For there are many that I hide.

Feelings that I have trouble explaining or making clear,
Feelings of terror,sadness and fear.

I am sorry for failing you and so many others that I love,
Simply because of these things,I fight with and dream of.

I am troubled and so afraid that you and others had to turn away,
That is why I hide the feelings and things I want to say.

You see there is always a constant battle within this hurting soul,

A battle of fear and pain,and of always being alone.
A battle of knowing that there will never be any one in my life to share with or hold,
A fear of every thing I know and love being gone.

I have lost so much in such a short time,
And I know that these things I want can never be mine.

The pain and fear that fill me are so hard to bear,
So hard yet even to share.

I ask that you bear with me and this battle within me,
I ask that you help me to overcome this thing so that I can be what I want to be.

Be there for me with a gentle loving hand,
Be there and please try to understand.

Help me to learn how to talk and share,

Help me please to become a whole person inside,
Help to face the things that I hide.

Help me,that is all I ask,with love and tender care,
Be patient,and help me for it is a heavy burden I bear.

Help me to overcome all this and then,
Help me to overcome and fight this battle within.

Jerry Lee Kay Sr.

Editor's Comment:

About the Writer Author
State: Texas
Country: United States
Email: jerryleekay@suddenlink.net
Website: www.jerryleekay.net
Profile:  Click here!

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